The most manly movie ever

"That's a bold statement, Craig. What movie are you referring to?"

It is a bold statement, and to back it up I have one number for you:

300.

Holy crap was this a fantastic movie. It had it all: action, blood, beautiful women (naked too, whoo hoo!), larger than life monsters and more testosterone than all the NFL combined. One simply has to see the spectacle of the movie to appreciate the manliness. A manly movie of this caliber cannot be described in words, it must be viewed, nay experienced on the big screen in all it's gloriousness. I gained 2 pounds of manliness while watching this movie (or it could have been the Chipotle burrito I ate prior to viewing it).

Let's compare this movie to other "manly" movies from the past and why 300 surpasses them all:

Fight Club - Bunch of sissys who fight in their mom's basement because they cannot handle the stress of the world. Then they cowardly blow up buildings. Pfft. The Spartans fight because that is what they are born to do. They wouldn't sneak around in basements or blow up buildings. They would kill you in broad daylight and from the sheer force of their manly battle cry level the buildings.

Unforgiven - A pig farmer kills a bunch of hicks with a gun. Please. Spartans didn't need guns, they used spears and swords and killed you up close and personal while while their superior manliness made you crap your pants in fear.

Rocky - A street thug turns into a heavyweight contender and fights with some padded gloves on. WTF? PADDED GLOVES? Give me a break. Spartans would never waste their time with silly games like this. They would rather go out in the wild and fight a giant wolf with and kill it with their bare hands.

Mortal Kombat - Any movie that has Christopher Lambert as a god is inherently weak. The Spartans would kill anyone in that movie simply by walking too closely to them.

Top Gun - A bunch of pretty boys fly around the sky. Spartans have 3 words for these guys: Athenian boy-lovers

A new standard has been set for manly movies. Tremble in fear you sissy boys who think you are action stars. You are nothing compared to what is the sheer embodiment of all that is manly and testosterone laden as the Spartans from 300.